Sunday 10 November 2013

ALL ABOUT THE DREADFUL TWENTIETH CENTURY….

From the Armenian massacres by the Ottomans… to the First World War…Russian Revolution…Germany in the 1920's then the Spanish Civil War - and that was only the first half; it had it all.

And don't forget Stalin's culls of his own people in the thirties - resumed again in the late forties...and on into post war Eastern Europe…then Communist China and the 70 million deaths, mostly from Maoist fantasies of Permanent Revolution…an awful, awful century…

Oh, and nearly forgot - the 60 plus million who died in the Second 'Thirty Year War' (1914 to 1945).

Paranoia out of stupidity and stupidity out of paranoia - and not being a Marxist, I do not consider it was all quite inevitable…and, weirdly enough, if you look beyond the labels, it was fought for much the same social reasons as the original Thirty Years War in the 17th century - but the jokes were better.


The first of the crucial events that made it such a shit century began late in the previous one, when thate stupidest of stupid Kaisers (Wilhelm) fired Bismarck - only the best politician of his age (and that's saying something).

Bismarck was like a circus conjurer, pulling rabbits out of a (steel) hat - while simultaneously but carefully waving a big stick. He'd unified a hopelessly fragmented Germany, fighting three inch-perfect wars in the process. Then in a stroke of genius, turned the defeated French away from any plans for a replay, towards the slow and crucially enervating bankruptcy of colonial intervention in Africa, so allowing them to both ruin themselves further and fall out with their only natural ally, Britain (see the Fashoda Incident, among many)…

Kaiser Wilhelm, like the class bully, believed it was all his victim's fault - they'd all been out to get him…was by then gagging to begin the 'Second Thirty Year War'. Finally finding a convenient pretext (Princip and his consumptive pals in Sarajevo) to belatedly kick it off in August 1914 - after earlier delays & frustrations; those builders again! A crucial (naval inspired) widening of the Kiel Canal got behind schedule and necessarily delayed starting the war.

And it was a war of sheer strategic genius; one Kaiser Bill couldn't even sustain, let alone win - unless victory came in the first few months (see Schlieffen plan) because of inevitable shortages of raw materials (steel, oil, etc) in an extended war - in fact, almost everything except angst and arrogance. A bit of early Marxist economics would have come in handy here - or even learning from past mistakes, that is, after all, what they're there for!...and Adolph got himself into exactly the same predicament a couple of decades later.


Then the Treaty of Versailles and its eminence grise, Tiger Clemenceau, a vindictive French moron who in a furious froth of revenge, used it to imposed economic and other sanctions (called reparations in those days) on Germany that were impossible to meet…leading to an inevitable rematch.



The Wall Street Crash of 1929 (another sparkling glimpse into Financial Euphoria - see Galbraith) put up the price of haircuts in the Weimar Republic to levels necessitating a decent sized suitcase to carry the cash - and kick started Adolph's failing fantasy career…and as they say - the rest is (horrible) history… 

          
From Imperialism, through Communism via Fascism - and as they rightly have it in Hollywood, the only good -ism is plagiarism…! -


Yes! the twentieth century had it all..! 


Note about Kaiser Wilhelm that gives a bit of an insight. After successfully losing the war, the victorious allies (far, far too magnanimous) allowed him to settle on an estate owned by an ancient aristocratic Belgium family (I want you to be on the look out for oxymorons, especially well dressed ones) - the family of the film star Audrey Hepburn, as it turned out.
The family quickly came to regret it as Wilhelm's hobby was cutting down trees. Not special trees or trees for firewood - but them all....every one of them. He liked killing things but having lost the war, had to make do with trees instead of people - lovely guy..!


2 comments:

  1. Very erudite.... and very lengthy. But then it is Sunday morning and traditional time to settle into lengthy prose XXX

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  2. Blimey - is that how you spell er-you-dite....?

    ReplyDelete